♪♪
♪ Dee dee ♪
♪ Bom-bom, bom-bom ♪
Hey, Yaskov. How are ya?
Kendig.
What an unexpected pleasure.
- May I have it, please? - Have what?
I got it all on film, Yaskov.
You don't wanna deal with the West Germans.
They don't like Russian Intelligence. You know that.
Just give it to me, and we'll forget about it.
I could make a run for it, you know.
Come on, Yaskov. You running, me chasing you?
We'd look like Laurel and Hardy.
Two clowns, huh?
You're a good man, Kendig, the best they've got.
- I wish you were with us. - Thanks, Yaskov.
Dasvidania.
MAN Lufthansa flight 22 arriving at gate 17.
WOMAN Passenger Bernstein, please go to the courtesy phone.
Passenger Bernstein.
I didn't expect to be met, Joe. What's the matter?
Myerson's in a sweat because you let that Russian go.
He's talking about the Russians in Cuba again.
Talking about sending you to Cuba.
- Oh. - That's why you got the chopper.
- Hi, Wanda. - Good morning.
- Connie, how are ya? - Welcome back.
Hi, Edie. Hi, Sherri.
- Beverly, how are you? - Good morning, Mr. Kendig.
In here, Kendig. Cutter, stay put. I want to see you after this.
Hi, Myerson. I thought you were taller.
I don't remember you being this short. How'd you get so short?
Up yours, Kendig.
Where's your report? You haven't filed it.
I just got off the airplane. The job's finished. What's the hurry?
Typical. It's difficult growing up, isn't it?
Aren't you just a little senior
to be shadowing people around the streets of Munich personally?
I worked on that job for two years.
I had a right to be in at the finish.
You mind if I sit down?
The object, Kendig,
was to dismantle the Russian network over there.
All you did was nab a few small fry ‒ three clerks and a cleaning woman.
And they blew the whistle on the others. We got the whole kit and caboodle.
We plugged that leak for good.
- What about Yaskov? - What about Yaskov?
What'd you want me to do, terminate him?
Is that the way you did things in your dirty tricks division?
You're too new in this section to go jumping to conclusions.
Excuse me.
- I never intended ‒ - Get my wife, please.
- Yes, sir. - I never intended to arrest Yas ‒
- Go ahead. - I never intended to arrest ‒
Hello, darling. Beverly tells me you called while I was out.
Yes, dear. It's about the Blandforths' dinner party this evening.
I wanted to make quite certain you hadn't forgotten.
- Oh, no. I haven't forgotten. - You're a good boy.
- Thank you. - There's one other thing ‒ the house.
What about the house?
- Do we really have to go there this summer? - ♪♪
If you don't want to go, we just won't go. It's your decision.
♪♪
Why do I find it so hard to make up my mind?
Excuse me. Excuse me!
- Hello? Hello? - Don't do that.
- Can you hear me? - Yes, dear, I can hear you.
Now listen. Just call that real estate dame and tell her to rent it out.
Yes, dear. Immediately.
Tell her no kids, no pets, no Democrats.
Yes, dear. Oh, one last thing.
The dinner is formal. I called Mrs. Blandforth to make certain.
Good. That means I can wear my new tuxedo, doesn't it?
- Good-bye, darling. - Good-bye, dear.
- May I say something now? - We've got a house near Savannah.
She won't give it up. Says it's close to her mother.
She never wants to use it though.
I never intended to arrest Yaskov. I wanted him to stay right where he is.
You wanted.
Yes, I wanted.
I've known the man for 20 years. I know how he thinks. I know how he acts.
We take him out, they put another man in. It takes us six months to find out who.
It takes us another year and a half to learn his style.
There are Russian combat troops 90 miles off our shore.
You had the head of the entire KGB for western Europe in your hand,
and you let him go.
That's the bottom line, isn't it?
I don't even begin to understand the relevancy of that.
- It's my station. - It's not your station! It's our station!
You should've learned that one a long time ago.
You weren't there to make policy. You were there to carry out policy.
Now, we've had your history of making up your own rules
under review for some time now.
We're reassigning you, Kendig.
You're going to sweat out your time until pension
running the filing section right here.
Come on, Myerson. I'm a field man. I've always been a field man.
The good news is, I'm putting your friend Joe Cutter in your place.
- Joe Cutter's a very good man. - Yes, he is.
- And he's 20 years younger than you are. - Twenty-one.
I don't know what's buggin' you, Myerson. I think you're overreacting.
I don't believe you're this upset because of that Russian in Munich.
Damn it. I hate a man who doesn't know when the party is over.
You will get that report together, won't you? And you can file it yourself Monday morning.
Is this some kind of a joke, Myerson?
Come in, Cutter.
Congratulations, Joe. You just got yourself a new job.
- How ya doin', Alex? - Fine, Kendig.
- Did you have the Redskins last Sunday? - You bet I did.
- Good. I'm gonna look at the Kinberg file. - You know where it's at.
Okay, Alex.
Just stick with us this Sunday. We're gonna slaughter the Cowboys.
I'm with you.
Mr. Myerson? He's still not in his office.
He hasn't checked in for two days, sir.
- Anything else? - His apartment phone doesn't answer.
But before he left here, he put in a call to Salzburg, Austria.
- Check it out. - Yes, sir.
♪♪
Excuse me.
I see you're looking at the wine list.
Yes, I am.
May I perhaps suggest a wine?
That would be nice.
May I sit down, please?
Yes. Please do.
What wine do you feel like drinking?
I'm not sure. I, uh... uh...
Just a good wine.
What wine do you prefer? Red wine? White? French? German?
I don't know. What's good for this time of the day?
That would depend on what you're thinking of eating.
Well, frankly, I ‒ I, um,
hadn't quite made a decision as to my meal.
- Is wine that important? - Very important.
Do you prefer young wine or one slightly older?
Oh, slightly ‒ slightly older.
Mmm. As a general rule, the older wines are better.
You see, it takes time for the elements in wine to resolve themselves
into an harmonious whole.
It takes time and oxygen.
Are you serious?
Deadly serious.
Wine is not a disembodied essence.
It is the product of skill, knowledge and, in many cases, love.
Are you a ‒ a wine salesperson?
No, I am an ordinary person
living quietly on the generous endowments
left me by my dear, departed husband.
- Oh, that's wonderful. - Thank you.
You certainly know a lot about wines.
- You're American. - Yes.
Americans hold many myths about wine.
You are all interested in fitness, in general health.
You think wine is bad for your liver and your heart.
This is completely not true.
It is the drinking of wine that makes it possible to eat the rich food
which is bad for your liver and your heart
because wine cuts grease.
A sip of wine leaves your mouth completely clean
and ready for the next bite
of whatever it is you're eating.
Oh, where have you been, you old goat?
You bastard. I thought I'd never see you again.
Please watch your language. You know how sensitive I am.
Come home with me. I'll give you lunch.
This is a terrible place to eat.
- Does he bite? - Oh!
Only people he doesn't like.
Oh. I only bite people I like.
Hey, it's nice.
- How many hectares do you have? - Two.
Nice.
Ah. Very nice indeed.
Thank you. There's more.
- Hey, magnificent. - Thank you.
Do you have help?
One small Austrian lady three times a week.
And one large Austrian lady four times a week.
- What's for lunch? - What would you like?
You have any sausage?
Oh, ja.
I have bratwurst, liverwurst, weisswurst, blutwurst.
How about some ham and eggs and a beer?
Kitchen's downstairs.
Where do you keep the beer, please?
Middle shelf.
- Miss the old life? - No. Game got too dirty.
You still take gin and ginger ale?
Mine was never gin and ginger ale.
Montrachet '69, please. Next to the beer.
Of course.
When I first worked for the agency its use seemed clear.
You knew where you stood. The bad guys wore mustaches.
- Where's the opener? - On the tray in front of you.
Now...
you need a scorecard to know who the players are.
Even then, it's fuzzy.
- Where are the glasses? - On the table in front of you.
I'm glad I'm out.
- I'm out too. - What?
I quit, but they don't know it yet.
I can't imagine you without the agency. It's your whole life.
They put Myerson in charge of my section.
He wanted to retire me behind a desk.
"See you next Tuesday" Myerson in ch ‒ They've gone mad.
He's got tapes on everybody locked away. They're scared to death of him.
- What are you going to do? - I don't know. I'm working on it.
Did you come to Salzburg to see me?
Mmm! You and Mozart.
- Do they still keep tabs on me in Washington? - Well, we knew you married some old Nazi.
- Oh, come on, Kendig. He was Austrian. - So was Hitler.
Yes, but he had no sense of humor.
- Do I pass inspection? - Ah.
You do.
You're so sweet and delicious.
- Mmm! - What do you really want, hmm?
Somewhere to hide while you decide what you're going to do.
Succor and solace and a shoulder to cry on.
Sounds pretty good to me.
- How'd you like to play gin rummy this evening? - For how much?
How much can you afford to lose?
♪♪
That's the second four you've given me.
- ♪♪ - Gin.
Uh-huh, it's gin.
- Hmm. Thirty-three. - Aha!
Blitzed and double blitzed.
What do you do with yourself around here anyway?
Look after my late husband's business interests. I keep myself occupied.
- Wanna tell me about him? - No.
Good.
- Four. Nine. - ♪♪
- You owe me ‒ - Shh, shh, shh.
♪♪
You still owe me...
$135.62.
Wanna take it out in trade?
What do you have that's worth that much?
Like antiques? ♪♪
- Come to bed. - I thought you'd never ask.
♪♪
I hear you walked out on your friends.
You hear, or is this a trial balloon?
Did they force you out because you did not arrest me?
- Right. - I feel a bit guilty about that.
- I'd like to make amends. - How?
I'm offering to put you right back into the game.
Yaskov, Yaskov. I'd make a useless double agent.
Of course you would.
Double agents must be drab little people. Colorless.
No, that would never do for you.
Listen. I want to run you in the field as my own agent.
We'd make it worth your while, of course.
There is plenty of money.
No.
Money is too expensive to be earned that way, Yaskov.
Look, the human species has been on this planet
for, um, millions of years.
Except for the tiniest fraction of the time
we all lived as hunters.
Hunting. It's the only natural way of life.
It was your way of life until you walked away from it.
I'm offering to return it to you.
- By the way, we are being photographed. - Yours or mine?
Yours. I recognize the mustache.
Oh, that's Follett. He's an idiot. Probably no film in the camera.
Could you be rejecting my offer out of some absurd loyalty to the flag?
You may as well give up, tovarich. Nyet interested.
A pity.
What do you intend to do with the rest of your life then?
Write your memoirs?
Memoirs?
That's not a bad idea.
- Have you got a typewriter? - In the den.
What are you going to do, write some letters?
- No. I'm going to write my memoirs. - Oh, that's nice.
Your childhood in the ghetto?
My last 30 years in the ghetto.
Uh-huh. You're going to relate some amusing incidents.
And some not so amusing. Would you put on a record, please?
- What are you going to write about? - I'm going to tell the truth.
Oh, it's a work of fiction. Ah! Oh, well.
You didn't say that, did you? You didn't make that clear.
♪♪
Oh!
What? What's the matter?
You're insane.
They will obliterate you in five minutes.
- It'll shake 'em up. - Shake them up?
They will send men who will come and kill you.
I'll keep one step ahead of them. That's enough.
Well, almost enough. I need your help.
Oh, no. No. I'm very sorry. No.
I have a nice life, a beautiful house, enough money, the respect of the community.
Don't look at me like that. No!
What do you want me to do?
Find me a copying machine, get me a stack of 9x12 manila mailing envelopes.
We are both mad.
Mad! Gone!
I thought perhaps you could shed some light on this.
I know Kendig's a friend of yours, Cutter, but...
what the fuck is he doing drinking vodka with Yaskov?
Yaskov is the enemy, isn't he?
I don't think this is anything to worry about.
They've known each other for years.
He and Yaskov used to exchange people at Checkpoint Charlie.
There's nothing sinister about it.
In Munich, he turned him loose. And now he's having a drink with him?
Better have a look at this.
"Kendig, M."
Nothing sinister, huh?
Why has he tampered with his file?
I don't think this means a thing.
Probably shouldn't have done it, but it's typical of him.
He doesn't want to be a number in anybody's computer.
Bullshit. He's up to something.
It's your job to find out what it is.
- ♪♪ - ♪♪
♪♪
You like opera?
- Yeah. You? - Ja.
- Was ist das? - "Barber of Seville."
- Figaro. - Oh. By Mozart.
No. That's the other Figaro.
- Huh? - That's the Hochzeit des Figaro.
Oh, I see.
- Auf Wiedersehen. - Auf Wiedersehen.
♪♪
Paris.
Peking.
Moscow.
Rome.
London.
Und Washington, DC.
He must be out of his fucking mind.
"Subjects to be covered in future chapters will be,
How much did the department of dirty tricks have to do with the plane crash
which killed Secretary Hammarskjold?
CIA future plans for clandestine operations."
My God! He sent copies to Moscow, Peking, London, Paris, Bonn and Rome.
Do you know he can blow every operation we've set up for two years.
He can make some waves if he goes through with it.
I don't think it's funny, Joe.
Of course it's funny, Leonard.
He's out of his fucking mind. Where is he?
Well, that was mailed from Salzburg.
But Follett says that a guy that looked like him
crossed over into Switzerland a couple of days ago
singing The Barber of Seville.
Sounds like Kendig hoping we'll chase him.
Let's tell Follett to quit playing with himself and find the poor son of a bitch.
Sit down.
Voilà.
Three passports ‒ blank.
Three driving licenses ‒ blank.
And a credit card.
"James Butler."
There is no such a thing as a blank credit card. You know that.
These look okay. Everything except the price you quoted on the telephone.
Five thousand francs for the passports.
Two thousand for the licenses. And for the credit cards, five hundred.
They are not hot. The numbers have been changed.
My department's on a budget, you know.
Mais, oui. So am I.
How many years have I been working for your agency, huh?
Am I not always reliable?
Don't I deserve any consideration?
Six thousand for the package. That's it.
Oh! Impossible.
"Impossible."
Tell you what. I'll give you 7,000.
Leave me with 500, will ya?
- For what? - For what?
Cherchez la femme.
Uh, a sandwich or something?
I don't think he'll publish it.
He's sending copies to the intelligence people, not the publishers.
It's his fucking suicide note.
The bastard wants to go down in flames, and he wants us to put him out of his misery.
He's not the suicidal type.
You put him on the bench. He's putting himself back in the game.
- That's what it's all about. - The game is over.
Listen, this is just a teaser. This is just one chapter.
Suppose we don't take the bait.
If we don't play, he'll probably have to quit.
It's no fun playing by yourself.
I've got a meeting of the security council. Walk me out.
I don't think you understand.
On this play, we have got to take him out. Because if we don't, they will.
The Soviets will read that teaser
and realize how much information he's got in his pointy little head.
They'll drop everything in a rush to grab him alive and squeeze him.
We can't afford that, can we?
I want you on this full-time as of right now.
Anything you need, you ask for it. Top priority.
- I want you to cancel his ticket. - We don't have to do that.
Let me try and stop him.
You're on overtime, Cutter.
Seven to player.
The bank closes this time 6:00 to 7:00.
Then the shoe passes to a new bank.
Thank you. Place your bets. Thank you.
- Thank you very much. - Thank you, sir.
- Sir, good night. - Good night.
Would you like smoking or nonsmoking?
Oh, nonsmoking, please.
But make it an aisle seat, because I go to the bathroom a lot.
Okay. Fine.
Have you traveled Concorde before?
No, not to the best of my recollection.
I understand you get there before you leave.
Yes, that's right. There you are, sir. Thank you very much.
- Have a pleasant flight. - Thank you.
Okay.
We know he's traveling under the name of James Butler.
For the time being.
We know he left the Grand Hotel in Marseilles,
took an Air France to Heathrow.
We know he won £10,000 at the Grosvenor Casino
and we're assuming that he's still in London.
You got a nail file?
I'd like to have a look at his travel vouchers for the last year or two.
Might be something in there, some pattern of movement.
You won't find anything consistent on him.
His checks keep bouncing 'cause his signature varies.
- He's a class act. - You like the guy, don't you?
Yes, I like him.
Let's get something to eat.
I'll get it.
762.
No. This is Leonard Ross. Who's calling?
Start a trace.
- Kendig, what a pleasant surprise. - Joe Cutter.
- I'm certainly glad they put in the first team. - Thank you.
I mailed out another chapter this morning.
If you're collecting stamps, it's postmarked London.
What are you trying to prove?
I'm not trying to prove anything, Joe. I'm just trying to have some fun.
Suppose you let me talk you out of this
before you find yourself at the bottom of some river, sipping sewage.
I'll be mailing it out one chapter at a time. Be more interesting that way.
You can tell Myerson that I'm saving the juicy stuff for the end.
Listen, Kendig, I'm the one who's gonna have to do the dirty work.
I don't want that.
Think of me, can't you? Don't you have any feelings for me at all?
I'm gonna be tortured by this for the rest of my life.
All my money will go to a psychiatrist.
That's very good, Joe. Very dramatic. I've never heard that used before.
Well, I think you've had time to locate this call by now, kid.
So I'll be saying so long. I'll see you around some time.
Kendig.
Kendig, are you there?
Did you get a line on that?
Are you sure?
That son of a bitch.
He's right here in Washington. It's a local call.
- Anything? - Nothing.
- He's probably halfway to the moon by now. - Don't sound so pleased about it.
I've got everyone who knows him by sight working the streets.
- Good work, Leonard. - Well, what would you suggest?
We just go back and wait for the phone to ring again?
I don't think he's gonna call again. He said what he has to say.
Excuse me, sir.
We found this under "B" in the phone book.
I think we can say good-bye to James Butler.
- Is everything okay? - Yeah, thanks.
- More coffee? - No, thank you.
Hello, Operator. I'd like to make a "bill to" call to overseas, please.
- Hello? - Hi, Is.
Right on time. How are you? Did you have a safe trip?
Yes. I said hello to the folks.
They were surprised to hear from me.
Have any of them paid you a visit?
Only our friend Follett the faygeleh. He's watching me right now.
Give him a kiss for me and tell him I'll write.
I'm sure he'd be very interested to hear from you.
Now, you remember when and where I'm gonna call you next.
Of course I remember. And you remember to be careful.
And if you should happen to see Kendig,
tell the horny old goat I miss him very much and love him.
- Good-bye, Mr. ‒ - Hannaway.
Charlie Hannaway.
And I love you very much too.
Excuse me.
- Mrs. Schonenberg? - Yes?
May I see you for a moment?
- It's about Miles Kendig. - I thought it might be.
Not exactly friendly, is he?
- Oh, he likes the people I like. - I see.
You haven't by any chance just been talking to him, have you?
- Regretfully, no. - That's too bad.
You see, it's important that we reach him fast.
It's about his family. There's been an accident.
Oh, how dreadful. Not a tragic accident, I hope.
Yes, I'm afraid so. His mother.
- That's more of a miracle than a tragedy. - What?
His mother died 25 years ago.
August 13th. I believe it was a Friday.
All right, Mrs. Schonenberg, where is he?
My name is von Schonenberg.
I am an Austrian citizen with a valid passport.
You have no right to question or detain me without authority.
My dog is very highly strung and has been known to attack.
I suggest you leave me alone.
Don't be too clever, Mrs. von Schonenberg.
We're going to stop him.
Won't you have to find him first?
Oh, do stop following me around.
You're making my dog very nervous.
He detests the smell of stupidity.
You know me. I cross every "T" and dot every "I."
Is it someone who was recommended to you?
Well, no, but I'm sure it's quite all right.
He's putting down a rather large cash deposit
and he looks very reliable.
Well, I'm trusting your judgment.
Well, thank you, Mrs. Myerson. I'm sure it'll be all right.
Lovely woman. Very particular.
- You're not a Democrat, are you? - No, ma'am. Oh...
- Can you hear me? - Yes, Mrs. Myerson.
And I'm sure Mr. Hannaway is going to enjoy your gracious home.
Now, you just take care of yourself, honey.
I will.
Well, that's settled.
Now all you have to do is sign the papers
and pay over that nasty old money.
It's pretty hot out there, isn't it?
Yes. It is 15 degrees warmer than usual for this time of year.
- Is that a fact? - Yes.
Now, here's the inventory.
Now, you must promise to be extra careful with the Myersons' effects.
Oh, I will. I certainly will, ma'am. Where do I sign?
- Right here. - Yes.
Ah, such peace and quiet.
They say it is the coolest spot on the island.
Should be a wonderful place to rest up after your operation.
- What did you say it was for? - Prostate.
Oh, of course.
Well, you know, Mr. Hannaway, my husband had it done two years ago.
- Is that right? - Yes.
And I wanna tell you, it didn't make any difference.
- I mean, we went on a second honeymoon. - Oh, that's nice.
Now, Mr. Hannaway, honey, you take care of yourself, you hear?
Yes, ma'am.
♪♪
Ooh.
- Chapter two, huh? - It's embarrassing.
"Whose bright idea was it to send the box of poison cigars to Castro?"
Is he still sending copies to Yaskov and everybody?
Everybody.
Why can't we find him?
Well, I told you it wasn't going to be easy.
"Ridiculous attempt to assassinate Papa Doc Duvalier
by bombing the presidential palace."
Goddamn that son of a bitch. It's a personal vendetta against me.
Well, if the shoe fits.
- Do you know which side you're on? - I'm working here, aren't I?
And I was trained by one of the best men in the business.
We've got leads.
We know he got rid of that car in Virginia.
A guy answering his description picked up an old clunker in South Carolina.
We got the license plate numbers. One thing leads to another.
We'll get him.
♪♪
Morning, Mr. Myerson, you short person.
I'll tell you something. The more I dig into this, the more disgusting it gets.
It'd be nice to think that you had a few second thoughts now and then.
But there's no chance of that, is there?
You probably see yourself as an innocent bystander betrayed.
As I look at this thing now, I can't believe I was ever part of it.
Tell you something. I wouldn't go back now for any amount of money.
Sorry, sir. Mr. Maddox says he's busy just now.
- Okay. Would you get me another beer, please? - Sure enough.
- Are you finished? - Yeah.
Thank you.
Hi, there. Is Leroy Maddox in?
- Yes. May I help you? - Good. I know the way. That's all right.
You can't go in there, sir.
Honey, what's your name?
- My name is Sarah. - Sarah.
- You new here, are you? - Yes, I am.
- Well, I've known Mr. Maddox a long time. - But you can't go in there, sir.
- May I help you, friend? - Name is Jim Murdison out of Dallas.
Expect you don't remember me, but I was up here a little while back
with ol' Jim-Bob Fredericks of Houston.
Ah, Mr. Murdison. Any friend of ol' Jim-Bob's.
Sit yourself down. Tell me what I can do for you.
Well, ol' Jim-Bob said if I ever needed a little special help
I should look you up.
I'd be mighty pleased to help you. What kind of thing you have in mind?
Oh, you can drop the accent. It's terrible.
Okay. I'd like to charter a seaplane.
Well, now, I'm not exactly in the airplane business.
How soon would you be needin' it?
A week from Friday.
- Um, can I have my clip back, please? - Oh.
Sure.
I do happen to know a charter pilot who is, uh, discreet.
I tell you what, Mr. Murdison.
You give me a call back on Tuesday night. Okay?
Okay.
And by the way, my name is not Murdison.
Well, I didn't think it was, Mr. Murdison.
♪♪
- How y'all doin' there? - Pretty good.
- You have any trouble? - No, sir.
Works just like you drew it.
Balances real good even when she's full.
What'd you say you was gonna use it for?
Oh, we just got some "dravways" we're workin' on.
Some "dravways"?
Yeah. You know, driveways.
Oh. Driveways.
Well, that's a ‒
That's a real good idea.
I sure hope it does the trick for you, Mr. Hannaway.
- $450. - Thank you very much, sir.
- Thank you very much indeed. - Thank you.
Good-bye, sir.
Bah!
"Bah"?
♪ Count on me, love me ♪
♪ Take me, touch me ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪♪
♪ Come back to bed You been away too long ♪
♪ I need to hold you tight ♪
♪ Can't close my heart Until you lay beside me ♪
♪ Warmin' all my senses ♪
♪ Through the night ♪
- Are you Murdison? - Yeah.
I'm Carla Fleming. I fly a seaplane. I understand you're looking for one.
Shall we sit down?
♪♪
- When and where do you wanna fly? - This Friday.
A young lady and I ‒
- Or is it "a young lady and me"? - "I."
- Uh, do you know where Coffee Bluff is? - Uh-huh.
Okay, you pick us up there and you fly us to Martinique.
- Has your plane got the range for it? - Mm-hmm.
It's a Lake Buccaneer.
It's not gonna be cheap, since I don't know what we're carrying.
Well, I told you ‒ a young lady. I'm not smuggling.
I hear you saying it. I don't wanna know either way. $3,000.
I just wanna charter it. I don't wanna buy it.
I'm sure you could get a better price from one of the airlines.
I think the regular fare is about $150.
Okay, okay. I'll give you the money right before we take off.
Just as soon as possible after dawn this Friday.
- You got it? - I'll be there.
- Okay. - Now you can buy me a scotch and soda.
♪♪
Scotch and soda for the lady.
Pay attention, shorty.
I'd like to make a call to Salzburg, Austria, please.
- Hello. - Hello, Is.
Kendig? What the hell are you doing?
Don't you know this damn phone is tapped?
Watch the profanity, please.
I've been missing you, thinking about you,
and I had this sudden urge.
- Are you drunk? - It's Kendig!
There are 212 tape recorders on this line.
It'll take 94 seconds for them to trace the call.
Is Follett still harassing you?
It's "harassing," dear. Harassing.
He's trying, but he's afraid of the dog. I haven't seen him for a few days.
He must be off somewhere with his nose to the ground.
- Who, the dog? - No, dear. Follett.
Are you keeping this line open until he can pinpoint you?
Follett couldn't pinpoint his own backside in broad daylight.
We'll see about that. Hurry it up.
- You do know what you're doing, don't you? - Certainly not.
How's the book coming? Is it finished?
All but the last chapter. You know, that's the stuff with the dynamite in it.
I'm just at the bit about Follett when he got caught with his pants down,
writing obscenities on the men's room wall.
Was he alone?
- Very funny. Very funny. - Of course not.
The state of Georgia, sir. They're working on the exchange.
Geez. Tell them to hurry it up.
Not to be gruesome, old darling, but I hope you've written out your will.
Yes. I've left everything to the Flat Earth Society.
But don't worry about it.
I'm forted up here with plenty of firepower.
No, sir. They'll never take me alive.
I'm armed to the teeth.
Good grief! Haven't you got it yet?
Any second now, sir.
I'll call you again. You know the time and place.
I do.
- Geez! - Bye, darling.
Bye, darling.
Telephone number, area code 311-555-1285.
Maple Road, Adairsville, Georgia.
- Get the agency. - Yes, sir.
What? Repeat that.
I don't fucking believe it!
Excuse me, Beverly.
Mr. Kendig has rented out my house.
Would you get Mr. Cutter in here right away, please?
He's actually had the balls to hide out in my house!
It's a house on the edge of a marsh about five minutes from here.
I know where it is. Is it covered?
We got a couple boys across the road. We didn't want to alert him.
Alert him? He already knows we're coming.
Just one thing, Mr. Myerson.
This is our jurisdiction, not yours.
It's an FBI case now. I run the show.
I want one of my men in each of these cars.
♪♪
Jerry, you take the back and the far side.
Bobby, you take this side. I'll take the front.
Bring me the bullhorn and the gas.
Kendig. This is the FBI.
We've got you surrounded.
Throw out your guns and come out with your hands over your head.
You've got 60 seconds before we use tear gas.
I hope your guys aren't trigger-happy. It'd be a shame to damage this house.
We don't shoot first, but if he tries to blast his way out ‒
- With what? He hasn't carried a gun for years. - That's not what I was told.
"Forted up with plenty of firepower. Armed to the teeth."
What secrets did he steal?
It's on a need-to-know basis ‒ a matter of national security.
Yeah.
That's a phrase that's lost a good deal of meaning lately.
You got 20 seconds, Kendig.
♪♪
Give him the gas.
Do that one more time, Kendig, and we'll blow you to pieces.
Let him have it.
Freeze! Keep your hands down.
Nice shootin', Ross. Eight thousand panes, and you hit one of them.
- What's happening? - They're shooting up your house.
♪♪
Stop it! Stop it!
Cease fire!
Fucking Idiots!
Stop it! Stop it!
Get down, you idiot! You wanna get yourself killed?
This is a mistake!
- In you go, Ross. - Am I driving?
Move over to the other side. Come on. Move it.
That's enough. That's enough!
- You're destroying my house! - Give it one more.
Okay, boys. Cease fire.
Soon as the smoke clears, we'll go in and take a look.
I don't believe this.
I don't fucking believe this.
- Talk about playing into this hands. - Just shut the fuck up!
There's a guy pulling out of here in a pickup with one of the CIA men.
Ross!
- That's him! - Back to the cars.
- I'll call the fire department. - Son of a bitch!
Mike, stay here.
Let's go!
Now I know what "FBI" stands for.
Fucking Ball-busting Imbeciles.
Okay, Ross. This is where you get off.
You used to be a pretty good man. I looked up to you.
- What happened? - Get out.
- I came to my senses, that's all. - How do you figure that?
A few skunks in the agency that needed flushing out.
Close the door. Back off.
You're just making a fool of yourself, Kendig. You don't have a chance.
Oh, yeah?
Don't bet on that, Ross. So long, kid.
- Mornin'. - Good mornin'.
- Hiya, kid. - Hi.
- You alone? - Yeah.
- Where's your lady friend? - Her mother wouldn't let her come.
Okay. Let's get going.
One passenger or two, the price is still the same.
Oh, that's a relief.
Three thousand bucks. There we go.
Thank you. Next stop, Martinique.
How about a change of course?
092 magnetic.
- Bermuda? - Why not?
Okay by me. That'll take about seven hours.
We haven't got a bathroom. Can you make it?
I'll be very careful.
What did you do, rob a bank? Is that what's in the suitcase?
- Uh, yes. - Gee.
I never drove a getaway car before. It's kind of fun.
- You mind if I steer a while? - You know how?
Yeah. They trained me as a ferry pilot for MATS.
- Still got my license. - Sure. Who's "they"?
Guys with little plastic ID cards.
They'll probably come around, ask you a lot of questions.
Just tell them the truth.
I generally tell the truth. It's easier that way.
- Are you going back tonight? - Oh, no way.
I'm gonna get my hair done and get a good night's sleep.
- Well, you certainly got enough money for it. - Just about.
So long. Take care of yourself, whatever you're doing.
You seem like a nice fella. You remind me of my father.
That's always been my problem.
Here's your tea, dear. Nice and hot. With lemon, just the way you like it.
I don't like lemon. I like milk.
Now, is there anything else that I can get for you boys?
Well, don't work Mr. Cutter too hard. After all, it is Sunday.
I'm sure he needs his rest. If you need me, I'll be in the sewing room.
Should have terminated her 20 years ago.
Joe, maybe we've been going about this the wrong way.
Perhaps it needs a lighter touch.
You know, sometimes bullying people doesn't work.
Let's be sophisticated here.
Maybe we can use a carrot instead of a stick.
Kendig likes girls, doesn't he?
Listen, Myerson, let me make a suggestion.
Why don't I go over to Salzburg and have a little talk with Isobel?
We worked together once. Maybe she'll listen to what I have to say.
Have you got something going on with Isobel too?
We're always one step behind him.
I'd like to get one step ahead of the arrogant son of a bitch.
I thought you liked the arrogant son of a bitch.
Welcome to London, Mr. Ross.
- Business or pleasure? - Oh, yes.
- I beg your pardon? - Oh. A little of both.
- I'm here to see my publisher. I'm writing a book. - How long do you plan to stay?
That depends. I'm waiting for some colleagues to catch up with me.
- Enjoy your visit. - Thank you.
- What's the name of the book? - Hopscotch.
Good title.
- Glen. - How you doing?
- Will she see us? - She'll see you.
But you won't get anywhere. I've already tried.
Well, maybe she'll be more accessible to me. I'm an old friend of hers.
- Yaskov's in town. He wants to see you. - That's good. I'd like that.
Set a time and place for this afternoon.
You're looking very tired, Joe.
- It's the jet lag. I can't get used to it. - You sure that's all it is?
Now, listen, Isobel. We're both fond of this character.
But he's making an ass of himself, and he's got to cut it out.
- For his own good. - For his own good?
You've been trying to stop him, and I gather not having too much success.
Such a shame. All those bright young men.
And there he is, single-handedly running rings around you all.
He's very good. He's as good as they come.
And he is running rings around us, and I'm his biggest fan.
But Kendig is going to make a mistake.
Sooner or later, he's bound to slip. After all, he's only human.
Oh, he's extremely human.
- It's not funny, Isobel. - Ah.
We're not the only people looking for him. And if the Russians get to him before we do ‒
You mean Myerson's methods of termination are more humane than the Russians'?
You know what I mean.
I don't want to hurt him, Isobel. But I have a job to do, and I'm going to do it.
He's got to stop that book right now.
He's had his fun. He's made a fool out of everyone. Now he has to stop.
He has to stop if he's going to stay alive.
Will you tell him?
Oh, I'll tell him.
I don't think he'll stop.
Oh. You've forgotten your beer.
- Hi. I'm looking for Mr. Ludlow. - Ah, you mean Mr. Ludlum.
- You'll find him in his office up there, guv. - Thank you.
- Mr. Ludlum? - Yes, sir.
I understand you have a little old airplane for sale.
- I'm Ross. I called you this morning. - Ah, yes, sir. Yes.
- You'd like to take a look, would you? - Yeah, please.
She's a Stampe, sir.
Oh, the Belgian version of the old Tiger Moth.
- Yes, indeed. You know your aircraft, sir. - Mmm.
She trained a lot of good fighter pilots in her day.
- How many hours on the engine? - 118 since the last overhaul.
- 180? - Eighteen, sir. One-eight.
- She's generally in very good shape. - How much are you asking?
Well, you'll need to have a look at the logs and certifications, won't you?
So let's nip back to the office and see what we can do.
Okay.
Look at Yaskov. He must have seen Casablanca 12 times.
You better wait here.
- I know where he is. - Who's that, comrade?
May I suggest we pool our information?
If I tell you the city, you will know how to find him in that city, yes?
A new wrinkle on détente.
That manuscript is an embarrassment to us all.
If you catch him, your people will squeeze him. We're not crazy about that idea.
At the moment, we feel it is more important he be neutralized.
He knows too much about our side, as well as yours.
Well?
Sorry.
Very well. He is back in London.
He flew there from Bermuda two days ago.
He's traveling under the name of Leonard Ross.
That figures.
I'd like to be able to tell you that we found him through brilliant detective work.
But in actual fact, one of my men just happened to recognize him at Heathrow Airport.
I will want a quid pro quo one day, my good friend.
I bet you will.
See you in London.
- Well? - He's in London.
- He gave you that for free? - Of course not. Nothing's free with that old fox.
But it does tell us one thing.
- The Russians are just as nervous as we are. - You're learning.
By the way, he's traveling on your passport.
That's cheaper too.
Uh, no, I'm sorry. Sorry?
- Parlez-vous Français, monsieur? - No, no. This ‒
Can you speak French or German, either of you?
Does Alfie Booker still work here?
- Yeah. He's out in the back. - May I speak to him for a moment, please?
- Sure. Help yourself. - Thank you.
- Here, I'll take this one myself. - Yeah, I like that one.
Alfred P. Booker.
Mr. Kendig. Hey, it's good to see you. It's been two years.
- You lost a little weight, didn't you? - Yeah.
- Hey, how'd that transistor job go for you? - The transistor?
What ‒ Oh, they never even knew it was there. Not a clue.
I have something a little more difficult for you this time.
May I come around here, please?
Tell me how practical you think that is.
- Where are we staying? - The Hilton.
Good.
And I set up a meeting for this afternoon with British Intelligence.
Yeah, well, there's no problem with the electronic stuff. That's dead easy.
But it's the mechanics I'm not sure about.
Servo motors, some sort of hydraulic transfer.
Look, there is a chap I know in the navy, used to know all about this sort of stuff.
Do you want me to get ahold of him and see if he can help us?
- How long you think it'll take? - Give me a ring tonight.
I'll know by then if I can get ahold of him.
And if I can I'll go down to the field tomorrow morning.
Could have it installed for you by nightfall. How's that sound?
All right, I'll call you. Just give me your home phone number, if you please.
Yeah.
You understand, Sir Giles, this requires a certain delicacy on all our parts.
Yes, I'm sure it must be terribly embarrassing for all of you.
Of course, we in England would never allow ourselves
to get into such a ridiculous predicament.
- You see, what we need is ‒ - Yes, yes, yes, I know.
But it's quite fascinating, isn't it? The part where ‒
I think it's chapter three ‒ the bit about Somoza, Nicaragua.
Your Kendig's got quite a sense of humor.
Sir Giles, we would appreciate it if we could move forward with this.
Technically, it's not our problem, is it? He's broken no laws in Britain.
But, of course, hands across the sea and all that. We'll be happy to cooperate.
- Now, what exactly would you like to have us do? - Manpower.
We'd like you to put a lot of people on the ports of exit ‒
airlines, terminals, that stuff.
Ah, well, that does seem to be rather fruitless.
We don't really know what he looks like.
We do have this, sir.
Ah. Thank you. Which one is, uh ‒
Well, that's Yaskov. What's he doing with Yaskov?
- That's part of our problem. - The main thing is ‒
I'll have a word with the police.
We'll circulate copies of this to all ports of exit.
The main thing is he's come to England for a reason. He didn't pick it out of a hat.
We think he's here to find a publisher.
There can only be so many publishers in London.
A dozen or so major houses. Perhaps 30 or 40 small presses.
He wants to make a big noise, so he'd go to a big house.
But I think that's what he'll think we're thinking,
so I think he'll go to a small one.
All right. I've got friends in some of the publishing firms.
I'll get in touch and let you know what I learn.
- Where are you staying? - The Hilton.
Yes, of course. I'll ring the Hilton the instant we've got anything of interest.
Good-bye, Mr. Myerson.
- Yes, can I help you? - Can you call Salzburg, Austria, for me, please?
Yes, of course. If you'd like to sit down, I'll tell you as soon as we get through.
Thank you.
♪♪
- The feathers in what? - The Feathers Inn.
The Feathers Inn. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
- Don't you remember, darling? - Of course I remember, darling.
Why don't you go get some lunch. I'll take over.
All right. Thanks.
Ah, Mr. Follett. Come in.
Thank you.
- What'd you want to see me about? - Won't you sit down?
I wanted to see you, A, because I'm tired of being watched 24 hours a day
and feel that you and I could come to some more civilized arrangement.
And B, I have just been speaking on the telephone with Kendig.
- Where was he calling from? - He didn't say.
He did say, however, he feels that this has now become a ridiculous charade
that we should all stop playing.
We'd be delighted to stop playing.
- Would you like a drink? - Thank you.
A little whiskey maybe.
Good.
Kendig would like to speak to you
because he's too emotionally involved with the others.
He said he would telephone about 1:30, which is ‒
Oh, in 15 minutes. I said I felt sure you would be here to take the call.
No ice. Excuse me.
Oh, no, no, no. That's, uh, uh, fine.
Oh, please.
An American without ice in his drink is unthinkable, if not unconstitutional.
Nice boy.
Good boy.
Nice dog.
Uh-huh.
Stay. Stay.
Good boy.
Stupid animal.
It's absolute dynamite.
It could be our biggest book of the year.
Although, uh, I still want to see the last chapter, of course.
I happen to have it right in my pocket. Finished it this morning.
Splendid. I'm sure I shan't be disappointed.
Cheers.
Mr. Westlake, you probably won't see me again.
I've given someone the power of attorney
to get in touch with you regarding contracts and payments.
Under the circumstances, your absence will probably be our best publicity.
You're at considerable risk, aren't you?
Well, if you publish this, you're going to be taking a risk yourself.
We've dealt with controversy before. The spice of life.
These fellows don't play by the Marquess of Queen ‒
- It-It is Marquess? - Yes, Marquess.
Marquess of Queensbury rules, you know.
Well, I certainly hope not. Not half so much fun.
You wait here.
Mr. Westlake, I'm terribly sorry. These gentlemen ‒
- It's about the Kendig manuscript. - That's all right.
- I've been looking forward to this. - Good.
Glad you're not gonna try one of those I-don't-know-what-you're-talking-about stories on us.
My name is Parker Westlake.
- The point is ‒ - What's yours?
- What? - What are your names?
Smith and Jones.
From my reading of the manuscript, you have to be Myerson.
Are you Joe Cutter, by any chance? I'm glad to meet you.
Now, please, why don't we sit down and reason this thing together?
Why don't you give us the manuscript? You can't publish it.
I think you're wrong about that.
Tell him, Joe.
I'm afraid he's right.
I don't like to make threats. They sound foolish in the daylight.
But I am to infer that if I don't give you the manuscript,
you'll creep in here one dark night and take it.
Or is it more along the lines of, uh,
if you don't cooperate with us, we'll set off bombs in your offices?
You said it. We didn't.
Gentlemen, let me tell you something.
I think this is one of the most exciting literary properties I've seen in a long time.
It simply isn't possible for you to suppress it.
Let me caution you, I've run off copies of the manuscript
and had them put in safe places.
So even if I suffer an unfortunate accident,
the process of publication will continue.
Naturally, we don't intend to use our usual printing house.
So no one will know where the book is
until it's far too late to stop its distribution to the bookshops.
I think your friend Kendig
has you well and truly by the short hairs.
If you publish that book, you're signing his death warrant.
There's only one man who can stop the publication of that book
and that's Kendig himself.
Why don't you talk to him about it?
- We can't find the bastard. - Find him?
My dear fellow, where's the difficulty in that?
He's staying right here in London at the Windsor Hotel.
- What? - The Windsor Hotel in Lancaster Gate.
Just north of the park.
Thank you.
Room 416. Apparently, he's expecting us.
We'll take the stairs.
- How'd you get here? - He telephoned my embassy.
- He's very democratic, isn't he? - Yes, isn't he?
I do like him, you know.
One can't help it.
Come on. He's not gonna shoot you.
Shh.
Kendig?
Close the door.
So he's expecting us, huh?
Hello, boys.
Thanks for coming.
Why don't you sit down? Make yourselves comfortable.
Joe, give everyone a drink, will ya?
Whiskey is right there next to the tape recorder.
And there's some ice, if it hasn't melted by this time.
Sorry there's no vodka, Yaskov. I simply forgot it.
- Myerson, couldn't find any bourbon and coke.
I suppose you're wondering where I am.
Well, we know I'm not about to try the airports,
the boat-trains and the liners in Southampton,
the trains to Scotland and the ferryboats to Ireland.
Did you think of Ireland, Joe, or did you slip up on that one?
We thought of it.
Well, I'll give you a clue as to my whereabouts later on.
In the meanwhile, the reason I asked you all to come up here
is 'cause I want you to pick up a copy of my last chapter.
It's sitting on top of the chest of drawers
right next to the recorder.
That's all. Why don't you take it home and read it?
Enjoy yourselves. Have a good time.
Thanks very much for coming, and, uh, good night.
Shit.
- Good night. - Good night.
- Good night, Joe. - Yep.
Good grief, Joe, you look terrible.
Well, you've been keeping me up past my regular bedtime.
Chair, please.
- Myerson thrown in the towel yet? - He wants to see you dead.
Oh, it doesn't make any difference whether I'm dead or alive, Joe.
He's all washed up now. Doesn't he know that?
Lean forward, please. Hands behind your back.
- How come he hasn't quit yet? - He's a little bit like you.
He won't quit until he gets even.
Should be even by now.
He tried to emasculate me, and I retaliated.
- What's your game plan now? - There isn't any. Game's over.
It's all finished. I've had my fun.
- It's too late for that. I've got my orders. - Ahh.
I understand, Joe.
You'll never see me again after tonight.
- I'll find ya. - No.
Did you pick up my last, uh, chapter?
Yes, I did. And I think you went a little bit too far.
- Oh, I don't think so. - You know, I don't understand you.
It's not like you to paint yourself into a corner.
But I don't see where you've got any back door.
- You're my back door, Joe. - I can't do you any favors.
- Sure you can. You already did. - I did?
You know I'd never use this. You didn't do anything about it.
I'm gonna have to put a gag in your mouth, Joe.
The cleaning lady will turn you loose in the morning.
- I hope she's pretty. - Open your mouth.
Oh, uh, you can call your crowd off the airport.
I've got a little plane on the coast near Beachy Head.
I'll be taking off first thing in the morning across the Channel.
No bullets. I'm proud of you, Joe.
- Yeah? - Hello?
- Hello?
Joe Cutter is tied to a chair in his room.
You'd better cut him loose.
What? Who is this?
This is Eleanor Roosevelt.
What? Who is ‒
Hello?
- Hello. - Hello, Is. Did you make it?
No. No, I didn't make it.
This is a recording of a person asleep. How are you?
Right on schedule. As of now, the clock is running.
- Well, where is it running? - The Pond Gemington.
The Pond where?
The Pond, near that beautiful graveyard.
You know, the one with the Norman church.
And all those cold stones. Yes, yes, I remember. I'll see you there in an hour.
Damn it!
Police. Thank God.
You fellas are never supposed to be around when you're needed.
- Having a spot of trouble, sir? - Yeah. I got a flat tire there.
I just made a telephone call, came back, tire was flat and there's no spare in there.
- Your car, sir? - No, it's a rental.
Well, that's where the spare should be, sir.
Yeah, but it's not there.
Listen, super spy, I wouldn't tell Myerson about this if I were you.
- Fuck Myerson. - Oh, by the way, did he get your passport?
- Where you from in America, sir? - Flagstaff, Arizona.
Hey, is there a place around here I can rent a car? I got to get to Eastbourne.
Well, it might be a bit difficult at this time of the morning, sir.
Why don't you come back to the station with us and wait for one of the garages to open?
We'll make you a nice cup of coffee.
We'll be at the Lambeth heliport in 15 or 20 minutes. Right.
If he doesn't take off before daylight, we might just catch him.
- What time is daylight? - About 7:00. It's 6:15 now.
- Is a cab waiting for us downstairs? - Yes, sir.
- Now I want to know ‒ - I owe him one.
This is the quid pro quo, right?
I'm in a little bit of a hurry, sir.
Um, is there any chance of getting an all-night taxi service
from Brighton or Seaford or one of those places?
Here, Sarge, didn't old Tony Cosgrove used to run some sort of taxi service?
- Yeah. If he's still alive. - He's still alive, all right.
Give him a go, Harry. We'll have you away in no time, sir.
Thanks very much. Sure appreciate it.
Now, let's see. Tony Cosgrove.
This time we'll get there before him.
He'll never expect us to get a copter up.
- You could be right. - You bet your fucking ass I'm right.
Straight along the A-20. How long do you think you'll be?
- MAN Oh, about half an hour. - It'll be about 30 minutes, sir.
Excuse me, sir, but what did you say your name was?
- Burton. Henry Burton. - Oh, yes, that's right. Thank you, sir.
I wonder if you could show me some means of identification?
- Sure. You want a passport? Driver's license? - Either, sir.
- There. - Thank you.
You do rather look a bit like this chap, sir.
But I'm sure it had nothing to do with you. Just a coincidence, eh?
We've had a bulletin, you see.
An American that you rather resemble is wanted for questioning.
Hmm.
Well, I guess I look like everybody and his brother.
What is this, uh ‒ What is this fellow wanted for?
Oh, nothing in particular. Just some people would like to ask him a few questions.
Oh, what the hell's going on here with the lights?
- Oh, hi there. - Good morning.
When did you join the police force?
It's the only car I could find that had any gas in it.
Good thinking.
Listen, no matter what happens, you stay put right here.
- I'll be back within an hour, okay? - Okay.
And if you're not back within the hour,
I'll wait for another hour and another and another ‒
- Follow him! - ♪♪
♪♪
Jesus!
Wow! I guess that takes care of Mr. Kendig.
That takes care of him, all right.
Son of a bitch is down there in that undertow in 47 pieces.
Son of a bitch is dead finally.
Son of a bitch better stay dead.
Pity. I shall miss him.
- Everything go okay? - Fine.
Good.
Um, South of France for two weeks?
- Sounds okay. - Good.
I hope this book is half as exciting as they say it is.
Oh, it is. Fourteen weeks, number one on the best seller list.
Oh, how marvelous.
They say he was murdered by his own men, the CIA.
Do you think there's any truth in that?
There are those who say he's still alive, living in Australia.
Oh, really? Oh, is that a fact ‒
This is indefensible.
You must stop these ridiculous charades.
The agency thinks you are dead.
No one, with the possible exception of me, gives a damn about you.
If you do not stop these absurd disguises
I will personally rip that beard from your chin
and scream "fire" at the top of my voice.
Okay, okay. You made your point.
Good. How'd you like to play some gin this evening?
- For how much? - Will you never learn?